Writer's Block: My Personal Concert
If you could have any musician or band play live - just for you and your friends - who would you pick?
ADAM LAMBERT of course! Who else sings and performs as well as him?

My FIRST post
 I am obsessed with these two benches so expect to see a lot of posts made by me....

I am seeing Cassidy perform at  St. Pete Pride tomorrow and I couldn't be more ECSTATIC!!!!!! I may be taking video of some of his songs so I'll post them here asap! :)

Anyway, I'm putting my Brassidy tinhat on and have decided that a) this is totally a song that Cass thinks about both Jonny AND Brad in b) this song is perfect ANYWAY but notice the date that Cass posted this... right AFTER his birthday... I wonder who he has on his mind???

Masochrist: Part 1

Masochrist: Part 1

The world is predictable. No, fate is predictable. It’s a story, with a conventional beginning, middle and end. Everyone has their own tale, different lives maybe, but for the most part everything was so damn predictable, formulaic. There was always a struggle, a conflict because that was the only way people could be happy. We all dream of living in some paradise somewhere but if it actually happened, we would all complain. In that, we constantly strive for something we want but we’d hate when we get it. We should call ourselves masochists. That’s what we are, isn’t it? Why else would we keep on living when we’re certain death will come?

With everything being so predictable, there came a sense of dread, boredom and numbness. Adrian didn’t understand why he felt the way he did… he had sure gone through an immeasurable amount of stress in his lifetime, enough for a few lifetimes… so what was it that he was missing? A woman? A man, perhaps? No, too predictable. His answer came on the most typical of days. A day when he was living in his modest apartment with everything that he needed but not necessarily everything he wanted. It was a humble beginning, especially for a man who had given away his entire past and was trying to rebuild himself. He turned on his television set and his entire world came crashing down. Normally when someone’s life becomes rearranged, colorless, black, turned on it’s head, someone would feel like they were being choked, like a hand had clutched their heart and wouldn’t let go, like they were dying… but Adrian had never felt more alive in his entire existence.

He had been waiting for a God. But not the God in so many bibles; a God that he actually had proof that existed. And he was blue. The thought struck Adrian as odd at first but he quickly realized it didn’t matter what color Jon was… he was still the single most beautiful thing Adrian had ever seen. Jon was a perfect human being, a perfect man in every way… every muscle, every pore, every cell was positioned perfectly. Jon was more real and powerful than Alexander had ever been… more impressive than a crumbled face of Rameses.

Adrian wondered if Jon was really alive or not. He laughed inwardly at the fact that Jon was blue because blue was so closely related with water and without it the earth couldn’t survive. Adrian wondered why he had such a fascination with dead things. Maybe because he felt dead inside, had felt like that for a very long time…

Adrian’s existence was a pile of rocks, that had once stood powerful and strong, full of purpose and poise, its face the only thing to be happy about… now lay dead and thirsty, gasping for breath, waiting for blue spirited water to pour life into the smashed and broken soul that was choking on the lack of reason, reaching up for some kind of salvation that would only come from an accident.

Adrian was a masochist. Smartest man in the world, pacifist, vegetarian, homosexual… he had many labels that he himself had made for himself. Veidt just wasn’t his last name, it was owned by everyone. It was in every American household, advertised on every street corner, on every teenage girls’ lips. Adrian Veidt had sold his soul and it was on sale for $10.99. Only a masochist would willingly do that. Only a masochist would hurt himself for the greater good. Adrian smiled that billion dollar smile. It was a tough job, but someone had to do it.

Adrian wondered if Jon was capable of feeling any pain. That fascinated and intrigued him… but that also made him jealous, more jealous than he had ever been. Adrian finally knew that choking feeling of envy, that pang in his heart that kept him awake at night, a punch from an invisible stranger that knocked him out cold, a cold that was as frozen as his heart. Manhattan was the Alexander the Great of his time, not Adrian. Manhattan had made breakthrough advancements in science and technology, not to mention winning a war.

Everything Adrian ever wanted, ever dreamed of was in Jon’s grasp. But instead of that fact destroying him, it made Adrian’s life infinitely more interesting. He had a rival, a challenge… that conflict in life that every human being craved. That numbness he had felt for so long was turning into a different sensation altogether. Lust… a burning energy that awoke every pore in Adrian’s perfectly toned body.

He had first met Jon on March, 1960. Adrian would never forget the first time he laid eyes on him… it was as if the perfect man had finally come to life, a creation that Victor Frankenstein would’ve obsessed over. Alexander and Rameses ceased to exist in Adrian’s mind just then, as if the only men who had ever existed were Jon and Adrian, Adrian and Jon… Manhattan held out his hand. Adrian’s heart was pounding in his head, an incessant pulse of lust and excitement that drowned out any other noise, disabled him from feeling any other enjoyment. That lack of pleasure immediately changed as Adrian’s hand was grasping Jon’s… Jon was flesh and blood. At least, he felt like flesh and blood and that both enticed and disappointed Adrian. Enticed him because now he could fantasize about their bodies being pushed together, disappointed him because Jon felt like everybody else. Manhattan’s voice was calm and soothing compared to the cacophonous noise that every other woman in the room sounded like and for that Adrian was eternally grateful. Jon was very intelligent and a great conversationalist and he actually hung on every word Adrian said. This loneliness in Adrian’s heart almost melted away… finally, there was a being that not only understood everything that he was saying, but was actually interested.

It would be six years until Adrian would see him again, at that fateful Crimebusters meeting. A swell of longing erupted into his body as soon as his eyes laid on that undeniably handsome visage, that impeccable and peerless body. He had fantasized about this man for six very long years and a twinge of jealousy tugged at his heart when he saw Jon walk in with a dark-haired woman. He definitely deserved better, he thought, a person with more physical beauty perhaps, or maybe someone with a more astute physicality. Jon himself was peerless in looks and so it only made sense if his lover was refined in every possible way as well. This was certainly not the case and that angered Adrian greatly. He couldn’t help but notice how much attention a certain brown-haired girl kept giving Jon and the look that Jon returned to her made Adrian visibly squirm in his chair. Why wasn’t he looking at him like that? With lust pouring from the windows of his soul? If Jon even had a soul...

Adrian left that meeting with a completely new view in the world he lived in. Purpose swam in every vein in his body and thoughts on Jon were almost insignificant. It would take years to build a fortune and concoct his brilliant creation and Adrian could almost see his new world now, being born in a way that Alexander only could’ve dreamed of. But for some reason he never envisioned it with Jon being in it... he just didn’t belong in Veidt’s living dream. Jon was too different, too flawless, too... special. He would make everything seem imbalanced, unpredictable... So, for years, Adrian vowed to never even give Jon a second thought, all the while creating life that would destroy life and feeling more like a God than Jon ever would...

Watchmen and fanfiction possibilities...
I'm a girl who's obsessed with great film.

and Watchmen.

Ozymandias is one of the most fascinating characters I've ever read.

Rorschach and Dan have a lot of awkward tension.

The Comedian is a broken man who doesn't know how to react to people.

Jon is as cold as stone.

... oh the fanfiction possibilites ;)

I'm currently writing an Adrian/Jon fanfic. I like it so far but I know there's room for a lot of improvement.


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